Kids don't come with an instruction manual.
This hit me like a freight train six months ago at 6pm when my 3-year-old Aurélien was having a complete meltdown over the "wrong" pajamas, while my then 7-year-old Lucien was philosophically questioning why bedtime exists at all. Standing there in my kitchen, exhausted and completely out of my depth, I had a moment of clarity that would reshape how I think about everything—from raising children to helping leaders navigate our AI-transformed world.
I realized I needed help. Real help.
So I did something I'd never done before: I hired a parenting coach.
Genevieve Muir from Connected Parenting became my guide into the mysterious world of raising two wildly different little humans. What she taught me wasn't revolutionary—it was beautifully simple. Before you correct a child's behavior, you connect with them first.
Get down on their level. Look them in the eyes. Understand what they're really feeling. Create safety and connection before you ever attempt to guide or teach.
Connect before you correct.
Watching this principle transform my relationship with my boys was profound. But sitting in my cabin afterward, looking out toward Barrenjoey Lighthouse, I realized something even more significant: this insight doesn't just apply to parenting.
For 20 years, I've had the privilege of working with leaders and entrepreneurs—helping executives from Apple, Meta, Google, Lego, Dyson, the Brisbane Broncos, and Rugby New Zealand translate their ideas and strategies in ways that win both hearts and minds. I've spent countless hours with brilliant people who are trying to navigate territories that simply didn't exist a decade ago.
How do you lead teams when AI is reshaping every job description? How do you build authentic connections with customers in an increasingly digital world? How do you communicate complex ideas when attention spans are fragmenting and information overload is the default state?
There's no instruction manual for any of this.
But here's what I've learned: Strategy is just a science fiction story with a deadline. Every business plan, every transformation initiative, every vision statement is essentially asking people to imagine and then create a future that doesn't yet exist. As a futurist who constantly deals in science fiction scenarios—helping leaders envision what's possible and then build pathways to get there—I've discovered that the skills needed to imagine tomorrow are the same ones needed to lead teams into uncharted territory today.
Just like parenting, the world of AI adoption, entrepreneurship, thought leadership, and human communication in our hyperconnected age requires something most of us weren't taught: the humility to admit we need guidance, and the wisdom to seek out coaches who can help us improve by just 1% at a time.
Genevieve doesn't try to turn me into a perfect parent overnight. Instead, she offers tiny, implementable improvements that compound over time. This week, it was about pausing for three seconds before responding to challenging behavior. Last week, it was asking "How can I help?" instead of immediately jumping to solutions.
Small shifts. Massive impact.
James Clear was onto something profound with his work on Atomic Habits —the idea that 1% improvements, when compounded over time, create extraordinary results. Whether you're trying to raise emotionally intelligent children or lead organizations through unprecedented change, the principle remains the same: sustainable transformation happens through consistent marginal gains, not dramatic overhauls.
It occurred to me recently that parenting is a bit like prompt engineering with very small, very unpredictable AI models. You think you've found the perfect input to get the desired output ("If you put on your shoes now, we can read an extra story tonight"), only to discover your 3-year-old has completely different training data than expected. Sometimes "Please get dressed" works perfectly. Other times, the same prompt results in a full system meltdown over the texture of socks.
The key, just like with AI, is learning to iterate quickly, adjust your approach based on feedback, and remember that even the most sophisticated models need clear, consistent guidance to perform well.
This mirrors everything I've learned about sustainable change in the business world. The leaders who thrive aren't the ones making dramatic pivots every quarter. They're the ones making consistent 1% improvements that compound into transformational results.
Most future dissatisfaction stems from present inaction. But the action doesn't need to be dramatic—it just needs to be consistent.
Here's what struck me most: I spend my days helping senior executives communicate more effectively, think more strategically about the future, and translate complex ideas into compelling narratives. Yet I was struggling to have a productive conversation with my own 3-year-old about putting on his shoes.
The paradox revealed something important: expertise in one domain doesn't automatically transfer to another. More importantly, success often comes from recognizing when you need to become a beginner again.
The same executives who confidently present to boards of directors might feel completely lost when trying to understand TikTok's algorithm or ChatGPT's implications for their industry. The entrepreneurs who built successful businesses in the pre-digital era might struggle to connect authentically with Gen Z consumers.
This isn't failure—it's the human condition in an age of accelerating change.
As I watch my boys navigate their own learning curves—Lucien mastering fractions, Aurélien figuring out how to express frustration with words instead of tantrums—I'm reminded that growth is fundamentally about having the right guidance at the right time.
The future will belong to individuals and organizations that embrace this truth: In a world without instruction manuals, having great coaches becomes a competitive advantage.
Whether you're:
The principle remains the same: find someone who's traveled the path before you, someone who can offer 1% improvements that compound into significant transformation.
What Genevieve has taught me about connecting with my children before attempting to correct them applies directly to every aspect of professional communication. When I work with leaders on their presentations or thought leadership, the most powerful moments happen when they stop trying to impress their audience and start trying to understand them.
Connection creates the conditions for influence. Whether you're addressing a boardroom, speaking at a conference, or having a difficult conversation with a team member, the sequence matters: connect first, then communicate.
This is particularly crucial in our AI-enhanced world, where human connection becomes increasingly precious. As machines handle more analytical tasks, our value lies in our ability to create genuine relationships, understand nuanced contexts, and help others feel truly seen and heard.
Here's my confession: Despite 20 years of helping others communicate more effectively, I still need coaches. Genevieve for parenting. Trainers for fitness. Mentors for business. Therapists for personal growth.
The best performers in any field understand that coaching isn't remedial—it's essential.
This is my invitation to you: What area of your life or work could benefit from 1% improvements that compound over time?
Maybe it's:
The world of business, technology, and human connection is evolving faster than ever. None of us received instruction manuals for navigating AI disruption, building resilient organizations, or maintaining authentic relationships in an increasingly digital world.
But we don't have to figure it out alone.
If you're a leader who feels like you're navigating without a map—whether that's transforming your organization, building your thought leadership, or simply communicating more effectively in our rapidly changing world—I'd love to explore how we might work together.
As a futurist and professional speaker who's spent two decades helping leaders translate complex strategies into compelling narratives, I understand that today's executive challenges are essentially tomorrow's science fiction scenarios with deadlines attached. The same skills that help me envision multiple futures and communicate them clearly are exactly what leaders need to guide their teams through uncertainty, build authentic thought leadership, and communicate in ways that both inspire and influence.
Sometimes the best investment you can make is in having someone help you see around corners you didn't even know existed—and then learn to communicate that vision in ways that move people to action.
Because just like parenting, leadership in the age of AI requires connecting before correcting, imagining before implementing, and building the future one small, intentional step at a time.
What's on my instruction-manual-free radar:
Your turn: What aspect of our rapidly changing world has you feeling like you need an instruction manual? Where could 1% improvements make the biggest difference in your life or work? Hit reply and share—because sometimes the best insights come from admitting we're all figuring this out together.
And if you want to present/tell a better science fiction story, email me...
Decoding Tomorrow explores the signals shaping our future. Each week, we separate lasting trends from temporary hype, helping you navigate change with clarity and confidence.
Sometimes the most important lessons come not from expertise, but from embracing the beautiful messiness of learning something entirely new.
Anders Sörman-Nilsson
Futurist | Keynote Speaker | Brand Strategist
PS. Super excited to keynote at CoreNet Global's Conference on October 28 in Anaheim, California. If you are hosting a conference in the Americas around that time - email me to enquire about availability.